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Friday, November 17, 2017

Life is Not Fair. Now is a Good Time to Get Used to it!

3.5 minute read
"It's NOT FAIR!" Anna shrieked, as she slung herself across her bed.  "Every time I am talking in class, Mrs. Vudu calls my name out, and she NEVER calls Tommy's name, and he talks all the time...."

"I understand you're frustrated," said Auntie Em, as she patted Annie's back and tried to be consoling.  (She thought she knew this Tommy of whom her niece spoke.)  "I would be frustrated to.  But you know what Honey?  Getting mad really doesn't do any good here.  Do you know what my mom said to me once upon a time when I had a similar complaint about a teacher?  My mom said to me,  'Life's not fair, now's a good time to get used to it.'  We need to learn how to pick our battles in life, dear.  When is it that you were talking, and got your name called?"

"When we were supposed to be writing our paper...." Annie sheepishly offered.

"Well the important thing here is not that Mrs. Vudicht  called your name, but it is that you were talking when you should have been working on your paper."

"I was WORKING ON MY PAPER... I just had to ask Jamie-"

"E-e-e-e-e!"  Auntie Em gently chastised.  "You would not have gotten your name called out-loud if you had not been talking in that moment when you should have been silent.  It really doesn't matter to me that Tommy was talking and did not get his name called.  YOU are who I care about.  You only have to put up with Mrs. Vudicht for one year.  She is a very good teacher.  I love the projects she gets you all involved in.  I feel sure she has good reason for handling her students the way she does.

Think of it like this Honey.  If I have a boss who tells me something at my job, is it really my business or my concern what my boss does or does not say to anyone else as long as it doesn't effect me?"

"Well, no, I guess not."

Auntie Em hugged Annie closely and kissed her on top of her head.  She was growing so tall and beautiful.  Her sister would have been so proud.

"Annie, YOU are who I care about.  I love you.  Life is not fair in this world.  I am really glad that we are Heaven bound.  How about: I do my best to be happy and make Uncle Sam's meatloaf and macaroni and cheese, and you do your best to be happy, and set the table, and save your conversation with Jamie for those times when Mrs. Vudicht won't mind?"

Annie looked at her aunt and grinned.  Life had been rough, but Auntie Em's gentle love and ways sure softened the bumps and helped Annie to feel it was all going to be O.K..

.................................................................................................
This post (story above) is fiction.  I wrote it loosely based on some conversations that have happened in my house over the years. 

 I feel strongly that children need to be helped to realize that indeed life is not fair, and we do need to pick our battles.

Like the little boy who called, "Wolf!" too many times, it came to pass that his cries were ignored.

When/if I feel that I must complain, or bring forth constructive criticism, or highlight an issue that needs to be corrected, I want to be taken seriously and I want my input to be respected.  Though there is the saying, "Squeaky wheel gets the grease," that may hold some truth, "Do you want a squeaky wheel that you are always having to reapply the grease to, or do you want a sturdy, tried and true well functioning, smoothly moving wheel that quietly does the JOB?"

I know which one I want to be.  I know what I want my children to learn.

I want my children to be blessed adapters.  I don't want them thinking that the world should adapt to suit them.

Philippians 2:13-15
For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.
Do all things without murmurings and disputings:
That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world;

Jeremiah 16:19
O Lord, my strength, and my fortress, and my refuge in the day of affliction...

Blessed is the child that has someone who will teach how to live, by words and example.

What are the positives that you see in Auntie Em's manner of handling her upset niece?

Are there other scripture that this story brings to your mind?  Please share in the comments!!

Thank you for letting me share.
Tammy @
Grandma Mary Marthađź’™

Thanks to my Mama for sage advise when I was in 4th grade.  I still remember it.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Suicide Prevention; Dealing with Someone Who is Critically Depressed

3 minute read
Life is a journey.
Sometimes it's rough.
Sometimes it's hard.
Sometimes it's full of uncertainty,
FULL OF UNCERTAINTY

This is why we need to
Keep check on one another,
Share the roses,
Spread the sunshine,

This post deals with the idea of critical depression and suicide prevention.

***I am NOT a health care professional.***  

I am a teacher, a wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, friend, NOT a health care professional.  I am NOT a therapist, or a counselor by training. Not. Not. Not!

I share these thoughts as a friend, and to honor our friend Sam (name changed) >link here to first mention of Sam<

Sam was a family friend, who took his own life.
He was Christian.
He was a good decent man.
He came from a lovely family.
He did his best.
I never knew him to be mean or ugly to anyone.
He had a rough time of it.
Living became too painful for him.

His family talked about the "last days" were better.  He seemed in better spirits.

I have been told this is not uncommon when people "make up their minds..."

His family was heart broken, and now they live with this excruciating memory, of how Sam violently checked out.

I truly am hopeful that my Jesus met him, and healed him in Heaven, but here I address dealing with someone who is critically depressed, and preventing suicide.


As a teacher, early in this school year, we had some mental health professionals come to our school to talk to us (teach us) about mental health first aid, I think they called it.

Much discussion was about dealing with someone who is critically depressed, and suicide prevention.

This is what struck me most:

We were told

ASK THE HARD QUESTIONS!!!  Don't be afraid to ask the hard questions.

We discussed that this seems counter intuitive, but best research supports, and advocates:

1)   ASK THE HARD QUESTIONS:
~  How are you feeling?
~  Are you depressed?
~  Have you thought about taking your own life?
~  Do you have a plan?
~  What would you use?
~  Where is it (weapon, medication)?

2)  Never leave someone alone if he/she is struggling with critical depression.

3)  Get professional help.  Call emergency workers or hotline, or helpline!  Don't let the ill person talk you out of getting help.

4)  ALWAYS talk about HOPE.

Assure 
Reinterate
Discuss
Persistently
SPEAK about HOPE
HOPE HOPE HOPE
There is always HOPE
There is HELP available.
You will not have to hurt or suffer forever.
We can get HELP for you and there is HOPE.

A critically depressed person needs to hear this.
This is tough stuff,
Hard stuff, to talk about, deal with,
Don't try to do it alone,
GET HELP,

But you need to know that you are doing the right thing to dare to ask the hard questions, and discuss the tough stuff.

If I may, on the subject of HOPE:

Share,
List,
Innumerate,
Describe,
All the wonderful that may be hidden 
Just around the next curve in the road,

and 

Assure  HOPE is VERY REAL

The mental health care professionals that spoke to us assured us that with the proper "treatment plan" by a team of professionals, the RESPONSE RATE is VERY HIGH.

There is solid reason for HOPE.

In honor of Sam and all the dear precious souls who just got tired on the hard hard journey, I hope that you take this post, put it with your faith, and prayers, and never loose the Sonshine on your path.

Tammy @
Grandma Mary Martha





Tuesday, November 14, 2017

2017 Liebster Award....like pie with awesome sauce!



Wow!  Sweet like  a delectable piece of pie, 
a serving of validation with awesome sauce,
 is the appreciation expressed in the Leibster Award nomination from Kim @ Simply Filled.


I have heard of some bloggers not accepting or responding in tradition, to this award, and I want to kindly address that here in a short story:

I once knew a young adult man very well.  I knew him to be kindhearted and sensitive.  He did not excel in academics, but he did seem to shine in his caring and interpersonal relationship skills.  I complimented his mother on this strength that I observed, and she smiled and shared with me that when he was in kindergarten, he received the "kind heart award."

It was a humble piece of paper from his teacher.  His mother cherished it all these years.  Did the humility of its origins, coming from a single person's nomination, lessen this child's character?  Of course not.  This person was a kind caring individual in early childhood, and through out life, which truly is something to celebrate, and appreciate.

Therefore, in all humility, I  accept my nomination from Kim.  My blog is what it is, and this nomination does not change what my blog is, but with this award, I have the opportunity to shine a light of appreciation on a few others, and have some extra fun in my journey!

So thank you Kim!  I needed some encouragement today, and the note and nomination that I found from you, cheered my day!

 It is a great pleasure to perpetuate the positivity and nominate the following.  I hope you will visit and explore over at these blogs:

*Rita @ Revival Rain, is creative and also theologically knowledgeable and grounded.  Her writings range from creative poetry and imaginative fiction, to doctrinal Bible based dissertations.  I will go back again and again, and I am grateful to think of her as my friend!  Oh, and she recently published a BOOK!

*Shayndel @ Challah and Cherry Blossoms has a blog like none other I have ever found.  Her posts beam with exquisite photos reflecting her rich Judaeo- Christian heritage, being a Messianic Jew living in Japan!  Artwork, recipes, and spiritual and cultural  inspiration are a bit of what you will find if you visit Shayndel there.  Go see what I mean!!

*Chavon @ New Beginnings with Me is dedicated to encouraging and uplifting women towards being their best self for Christ.  She is a special education teacher but somehow finds the time to build this beautiful resource for kingdom building through building up the sisters, with scripture studies, posts for Christ, and videos that are a pleasure to watch and listen to.

*Emily @ Splashes of Joy got on my radar when I discovered that she is a voice for orphans (ministry closest to my heart).  In her blog, she addresses all matters relative to fostering, adopting, motherhood, and orphans.  She does link-ups, and guest posts, and any woman who visits her blog is bound to find reason to stay for a while, and leave with a smile in her her heart.

* Melissa @ humblefaithfamilywellness.com writes to build and equip families, including foster/adopt families.  She promotes wellness, healthy interpersonal relationships, self esteem, growth and healing using her expertise as a professional mental health therapist, and Bible perspective insights.  Her sensitivity, kindness, understanding and grace shines brightly from the pages of her blog!  SHE RECIEVED THE LIEBSTER NOMINATION AT THE SAME TIME I DID, also from Kim, SO I MENTION HER HERE SIMPLY AS A FAVORITE!!! 

If you choose to accept this award, according to tradition,  here are some questions for you to answer from me, so that others may get to know you better:

* What do you like to do for stress relief?
* Who was the greatest spiritual mentor in your life while growing up (or later)?
* Do you ever go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink?
* Do you make your bed everyday, or figure it's not worth it?
* What is the coolest thing you ever made with your hands?
* What is one thing that you learned to do after much work and practice or trial and error?
* What is the most daring thing you have ever done?
* Tell three things on your bucket list.
* At potlucks, what dish do friends or family ask you to bring?  Would you do a post on the recipe and link it here in the comments?
* What is your top love language?





(Thank you Kim, for nominating ME ! ) I hope you visit her, @ Simply Filled.  She is like the all American country girl next door, blogging for Jesus Christ on faith, homesteading, wellness, and marriage.  Her blog is beautiful, as is her big chocolate Labrador dog, and her golden hair.

Now it will be my delight to answer questions posed from Kim:

*Where do you find inspiration for what you blog about?  Loosely speaking, I rely on God.  It is not uncommon for one week, me to have NO CLUE what the next post is going to be about, and then, an idea comes or grows.  Often LIFE, something I have experienced, or observed, or read, seems to plant the seed.

*How did you come up with your blog name? I came up with the name kind of in my sleep, because I knew that I didn't want to hide my age, and I identify with Jesus's lady friends Mary and Martha.  I am good mix of the thinker listener and the busy doer, so "Grandma Mary Martha."

*Please share the mission of your blog.  Grandma Mary Martha's mission is to be a friend and encourager, to share creativity, kindness, fun sharing, sunshine and Sonshine (Jesus and scripture).

*If you have a profession other than writing, what is it?  My blog is a hobby and ministry.  I am a teacher by profession.

*What is your favorite food?  How can I choose a favorite?  Watermelon.... German Chocolate pie.....lush blueberry muffins...Can't choose a favorite. 

*Are you a dog or cat person?  There was a time (pre-marriage and pre-children) when I was definitely a dog person.  My vet who knew me well (always bringing in strays) he told me that the dogs in my little town went around spreading the word, "The lady in that house will take care of you....." 

*Busy city life, or quiet country life?  Quiet country life for sure!  Honestly, 3 hours of shopping in a city and I am ready to head for my country home in the hills again. I get a feeling of anxiety, like a scared country mouse in the big scary hustling city.

* Favorite place you ever traveled to? Hmm.  I have seen some spectacular sights in the continental United States of America, which I treasure in my memory, but the scenery along the Columbia River Gorge, Oregon side touched my heart and soul.  We went in November, and the apple orchards on the rolling hills looked like a patchwork quilt, and the gorgeous and tasty variety of apples available at roadside fruit sale barns was outstanding.  I kept thinking about my grandmother, a great quilter and apple pie maker...........and the cascading water falls that were our diamonds to discover on our family hikes in the Cascade Mountains there were splendid indeed.

*What is the best book you ever read? That is a super hard question.  I have to answer generally.  There are two books that I have bought as gifts or shared more than any other:  Joshua by Joseph Girzone, and 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman.

One important thing people should know about you? I would not want to live, with out my faith, and God's word (the Bible) in my life.

* What is one skill you wish you possessed that you currently don't?  I admire people with musical talent and skill.  I seem really dumb in that department, but I think if I could choose (write my life the way I wanted it) I would have chosen to be a gloriously skilled dancer!  


In Kim's Nomination post, she included 10 tidbits about herself, which I enjoyed very much.  I always enjoy getting to know my blogger sisters, a little better........but I feel like I have said enough about me here already.  I will say, if you want to read more about me, here are the links to some pages in my blog about more of such.



Thank you Kim, for nominating me, and thank you to my nominees for the amazing work you do on your blog.  You have been a blessing in my life.  May this Liebster award nomination be an encouragement for you toward many more years of wonderful blogging!

Blessings in Christ,
Tammy @
Grandma Mary Marthađź’ś




Fall 2017 Grandma Mary Martha Newsletter Y'all !

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